In the spirit of the American holiday of Thanksgiving, I find much of my thoughts turning to gratefulness lately. I think it is an important step in my recovery to be mindful of all that I have and be grateful for it, even when it seems like 'not enough'.
I know the holidays are rough on some. Our past experiences, sometimes our present ones, make this time of year difficult. But IMO, the Spirit of the holiday is one of giving thanks for what we have, for looking over the past year in review and thinking about changes that need to be made for the year ahead. Growth. We can turn it into a positive experience, at least in our heads, if we try.
Sometimes in my quest to get better, my thoughts are always on the negative, what I want or do not possess now. But it is important in my belief to acknowledge what I have accomplished and posses within myself--to be grateful and mindful of what IS.
I thought I would share these thoughts with the board because I think we could all stand to be more grateful in our everyday lives. To think about what we have now, what we do know, rather than what we do not have or do not know ALL that time. Yes, work towards betterment, always. But sometimes working towards betterment of the self, for me, includes a good look at what already IS, even when I only had one or two things on my list of things to be happy about--there was always something to be happy about, no matter how rough it was. It is also a time for me to formulate goals, to see where I have come over the past year and where I want to go for the next. Beating the self up for the 'shoulds' is counter-productive at this time, for me. I have to just try to realistically and non-judgmentally see what is and what I want to be--to be grateful and hopeful about the present and the future.
I found a great site that had a list of ways to be more grateful in our everyday lives:
Quote:
1. Keep a gratitude journal
Sit down, daily, and write about the things for which you are grateful. Start with whatever springs to mind and work from there. Try not to write the same thing every day but explore your gratefulness.
2. Remember the bad
The way things are now may seem better in the light of bad memories. Don't forget the bad things that have happened, the contrast may encourage gratefulness.
3. Ask yourself three questions
Choose someone you know, then first consider what you have received from them, second what you have given to them and thirdly what trouble you have caused them. This may lead to discovering you owe others more than you thought.
4. Pray
Whether you are Buddhist, Christian, Jewish, Muslim or atheist, a ritualised form of giving thanks may help increase gratitude.
5. Use your senses
80% of people say they are thankful for their health. If so, then get back in touch with the simple human fact of being able to sense what is out there: use your vision, touch, taste and smell to experience the world, and be thankful you can.
6. Use visual reminders
Two big obstacles to being grateful are simply forgetting and failing to be mindful. So leave a note of some kind reminding you to be grateful. It could be a post-it, an object in your home or another person to nudge you occasionally.
7. Swear an oath to be more grateful
Promise on whatever you hold holy that you'll be more grateful. Sounds crazy? There's a study to show it works.
8. Think grateful thoughts
Called 'automatic thoughts' or self-talk in cognitive therapy, these are the habitual things we say to ourselves all day long. What if you said to yourself: "My life is a gift" all day long? Too cheesy? OK, what about: "Every day is a surprise".
9. Acting grateful is being grateful
Say thank you, become more grateful. It's that simple.
10. Be grateful to your enemies?
It'll take a big creative leap to be thankful to the people who you most despise. But big creative leaps are just the kind of things likely to set off a change in yourself. Give it a try.
I find myself humbled by my list. I have a lot to be grateful for, I think others do too, even if it is 'mundane' things like being able to see or walk or comprehend a poem or book, it's still a privilege because some can't to so. Humility is key in all this too because there is always the risk of becoming full of one's self when we only see the positive, IMO, or thinking that we have it all when in reality nobody does--not even the experts or fabulously wealthy. We're all humans with faults and merits within each of us. Seeing the merits, both in material possessions and quality of self, is where I find my gratitude. Ya know, when I think about it, I find gratitude in some of my faults too if I look hard enough-- it all makes me who I am and I can be grateful for that too.
I'd love to hear other's thoughts or insights in this area. In any case, for the Americans--Happy Thanksgiving, for the non-Americans, I hope the spirit of the Thankgiving season reaches your neck of the woods in a positive light too!
FAQ
Register
Login
