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EllenKMR
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Post subject: knowing how to deal with feelings  Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 6:50 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:00 pm
Posts: 991
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A relationship that used to cause me to have feelings that I didn't know how to deal with, it still causes strong feelings, but I know how to deal with them. Which is so nice. 
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Ellen K.
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Harmonium
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:53 am |
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Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:56 am
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I'm glad you are in a nice place with this issue, Ellen. Way to go!  
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Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf
BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra
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skiotter
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 1:13 pm |
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Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 6:22 am
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Location: New York, USA
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Yeah!!! I'm happy for you!
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wxyz
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 2:28 pm |
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Joined: Sun Dec 14, 2008 12:04 pm
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Ellen, that is soooo great! I hope someday to be at the point where you are. Well, actually, it'd be nice to not have those feelings at all to have to deal with, but that's life right? You are doing awesome and many congrats!!!
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BPDpip5
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 4:35 pm |
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Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am
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That's great Ellen! BTW - could you tell me how to deal with them? Five months after the breakup and I still can't think of C without balling. lol.
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"I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."
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wondering
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 4:31 pm |
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Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 6:00 pm
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I'm happy for you, Ellen. I know you've been working on this for a long time.
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EllenKMR
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Fri Jun 05, 2009 6:29 am |
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Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:00 pm
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Thanks, everyone.
BPDpip5, my first inclination was to answer your question no. Which is true. I can't tell someone else how to deal with their feelings. But I can make an attempt to say something about how I deal with mine. Unfortunately, I don't have time right now. I'll try to remember to do so this weekend.
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Ellen K.
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EllenKMR
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Post subject: Re: knowing how to deal with feelings Posted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 12:05 pm |
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Joined: Mon Jan 14, 2008 6:00 pm
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Key word in the above post... attempt.
Well, a big part of it is having worked through a lot of the issues. Both stuff he triggered that didn't have to do with him, and stuff related to him. And understanding the relationship and what my boundaries are. Which was a huge task. And doing that did help me practice the skills that I still use. As have other relationships.
A lot of using the tools and similiar thinking strategies to get to this point.
Mostly, accepting my feelings, and correcting twisted thinking related to those feelings. And learning to not overfocus on what I don't have, but to see and appreciate what I do have.
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Ellen K.
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