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A couple positive recent things that demonstrated to me how far I've come in my recovery.

First (though 2nd, actually ), a certain person was inducing strong feelings in me again. In an attraction / in love sort of way. I thought about coming here and writing about it. I imagined a post starting something like "How come after 5 years my feelings as still so strong?". Or maybe something similar in statement (rather than question) form. But I recognized that it was "should" thinking. Underneath it was the idea that "I should be beyond this stage". Actually, given all the twisted thinking and projection and such I had to work through, it makes sense that I'm only now beginning to deal with these more ordinary feelings.

And the other is, I had a nice personal conversation with a friend. Face to face. Initiated by me. Openingly sharing feelings of appreciation. And, see, for me, once upon a time, a conversation like that would have been impossible. Opening up face to face would have been impossible. It was a little (okay, a lot) scary telling him I wanted to talk (which, due to circumstances, was done by email, actually), but the actual conversation was easy. It helps that I trust him a lot. Both that he likes and accepts me and that he won't be inappropriate with me.

Ellen that is fantastic!

Thats great! sometimes opening up to someone can be really scary, and I think that starting out by doing it by email instead of in person is a good way to do it.

And eventually, you will be able to do it in person, which will feel even better!

:thumbsup

The opening up was in person. It's the "hey, I'd like to talk" that was by email.

Oh, I see.

Well then thats awesome, because I would probably be too chicken to do it face to face :shysmile

Yeah, like I said, once upon a time, I would have been too.

Yeah, I find it really diffucult when i have a complaint.

Like with co-workers, I tend to shy away from just coming out and saying "you (blank), and that made me feel (blank)".

Instead I just end up venting it to someone else, usually a specific co-worker that I trust. But that is too much like gossip, and it sometimes makes me feel worse.

Yeah, I find it really diffucult when i have a complaint.

Like with co-workers, I tend to shy away from just coming out and saying "you (blank), and that made me feel (blank)".

Instead I just end up venting it to someone else, usually a specific co-worker that I trust. But that is too much like gossip, and it sometimes makes me feel worse.

well done! :biggrin