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I have thought about calling my T lately, but instead I think of what she would say to me. So I haven't called.

Good for you wondering. You are such an inspiration to me.

Have been thinking and talking about winding down therapy for a couple of months now. Seem to have less and less to work on. T however thinks I am avoiding certain issues. Maybe she's right, but it just seems to me that there is less and less coming up in the moment, each week, and I'm kind of over digging for stuff. I plan to have the cutback talk with her again soon.

You're doing great!

Yes, sometimes we can talk ourselves out of calling our T's. By thinking of what they would say and really knowing what the answers are, we can become stronger by not calling.

I don't call my T unless I feel I'm having a real crisis. I am so afraid of overloading him that I try to use those calls only when really, really necessary. However, sometimes I will call his voicemail just to hear his voice - that does soothe me. He never picks up the phone so I feel safe doing that.

When I hear my T on the phone it soothes me. I am going to get his voicemail number so I can just call to hear his voice. That will stop me from emailing him unless I feel that it is necessary.

That's really great, Wondering!
And it seems like you have learned how to internalize some of those good feelings. You are getting the same message from yourself instead of calling her? Very cool. Even if it's still coming in her voice, those words are coming from you.
You are really doing a great job with this and I'm very proud of you for sticking with it.

That's great, Wondering!! Your posts are an inspiration to me, thanks so much for sharing!

It's almost 3 months since I had a session! I called her to talk about being stressed due to the wedding and other stuff, but I'm doing well regarding my attachment to her. I think that seeing her in my house, in a different situation, helped me a lot. I asked for a hug on that occasion, and the good feelings have stayed with me. I know I will see her socially a few more times this summer, and that's nice. I am separating reality from fantasy regarding my relationship with her. The other day I listened to some emotional music and started missing her, but realized that she can't give me what I missed. I understand it now.

That's so fantastic! Your outlook, perceptions, thoughts, feelings and approach to the whole thing are almost a complete turnaround from the past Wondering I knew.

Do you feel healthier? Happier? Self-suffienct? Capable? Confident? There's nothing that says you have to be 100% perfect at all times but if the general consensus is "yeah, I feel good about this" then I'm tickled pink for you!

((wondering))

Ash: Yes, I feel healthier and happier, and also more confident and capable. If I were having regular sessions, I know I would be depending on my T a lot because planning the wedding is stressful for me. Instead, I have to handle it myself, and go to others for support. Although I did call my T once, I don't feel like I need to see her, either for practical help, or just because I miss her. So, you are justified in feeling "tickled pink" for me. Thank you!

Thanks, Jody!

i think that is such tremendous progress! just happy for ya. knowing you found what i always saw in ya, this ability to do this on your own! i found a new T, we are still seeing if we fit or not. i just cant do it all alone with 2 nutty people in my family. i thought i could.......damn, im proud of you for this.