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My H and I have been looking for our first home for about a year now. We are slow to major changes, lol.

Well, last week I viewed a great house. Then Sunday, my H got to go and have a look. We put in an offer that night. Today, the seller returned with a counter, but one we were expecting. We signed the deal!!!

Of course, all of this will be contingent on the home inspection and so forth.....but I'm really happy and excited and nervous and just thrilled to be taking such a major step forward into life.

Most of my life, I never planned for a future or even really believed I would have one, much less a happy one with someone I love to share it alongside. Now, it's a reality. What a difference two years-- and a lot of hard work-- makes!

I am very happy for you and your husband. I wish you much happiness in your new home!

Wow, that's great, Harmonium!! I'm happy for you. I hope the inspection goes well, and you can get in soon. My xh and I lived in three homes that were "ours" -- mortgaged to the hilt, of course -- and it was always nice to have ownership and be able to do whatever we wanted... as opposed to renting, my current (and probably permanent) situation, with all the rules and restrictions that come with it.

Congratulations!

Thank you Wondering and Sari!

We are set to close on May 29.....but there is a real possibility we will move that date up if the inspection and financing goes well. The owners have already vacated the property, so really it's up to us which is nice. I have to start packing up my whole duplex!

Harmonium, I'm really happy for you! That is quite a feat. I wish you a smooth move (no pun intended!) and all the best with the house.

I still rent, have never owned a home....and am scared to do so. But with the right partner and financial situation I think it would be very nice.

Thanks for your support Skiotter!

Inspection is tomorrow, we'll see what happens!

I hope you have some happy news....!!

Well, the inspection went alright. Not bad, not good, but okay.

There is a leak in the roof by the fireplace. I'm told by the inspector that it really isn't that big of a deal and is quite common for a house this age. Of course as part of our negotiations we can try to get the seller to fix it before we close the deal completely. My H and I are going to get a roofing expert out to the property and see how bad this really is. We will try to negotiate with the seller....and we are prepared to walk if we have to.

I knew this would be an emotional roller-coaster, rationally at least. I guess I'm feeling it more than I wish I was. We're going to take the weekend to think things over.

Really, it could be a lot worse. This is fixable, just maybe costly. We'll see......I still have hope!

Skiotter, your post came in as I was writing this one....thanks for the well-wishes, it's not over yet!

Congratulations! I know how nerve-wracking / frustrating the process can be.

It's funny - in this regard, you and I are complete opposites. My husband emailed me at work one Thursday and said "I think we should move from Evergreen to Aurora" (about a 50 mile trek east, but much closer to my work and soon to be his.)

He emailed a couple realtors right away. By Friday, we had an appointment with one of the realtors for Saturday to look at houses. On Saturday, I had a spreadsheet of houses we'd found in the area we were considering and had the realtor take us to those. We put in an offer on one house that same day. They counteroffered at the last minute but by then we had found another house we liked better (and their counter was considerably higher than we wanted to pay) so we put in a new offer on the 2nd house Sunday. It was accepted on Monday and we moved in 3 weeks later. Heh.

By the way, brace yourselves for the underwriters. They will NOT start working on your loan application until three days before the closing is scheduled to happen. At the very last minute, you'll get all sorts of goofy requests for obscure documentation. They may want/try to change (increase) your interest rate on you at the last minute -- this may be another reason to walk away, even if you love-love-LOVE the house.

Patience is a virtue and preparation is key. Have your financials in order and have most things available for easy access -- back two or three years.

I can't wait to see pictures of your new house!

When I bought a couple years ago I really fell in like with one house in particular, that is until the inspector came and we walked through together. He pointed out a lot of iffy stuff - not dealbreakers, but not great. I crawled into the crawl space with him, and when I saw how cinder blocks, bricks, and flagstones had been stacked to support the kitchen floor, well, that was enough for me; I walked.

The house I ended up buying was smaller and had a smaller yard, but it had fewer issues. The seller wasn't willing to negotiate on any of them, but the price was good anyway, so I bought. I did buy one risk, that the crawl space didn't have a sump pump in it. There was no evidence that the crawl had ever been wet, so I took the risk. Then we had a wet spring last year and I had to get a portable pump to empty the crawl space, which had two feet of water in it. Some rain in February brought me the same fun. So I'm having a sump pump installed this summer at some expense.

I guess the lesson learned is that you just have to weigh the good and the bad, and know what the potential costs are of the risks you choose to accept in a house you buy.

Ash-- first of all, thanks!

I actually think you and my H are opposites, lol. He's the one who's been holding up the process. I'm more the one who knows what I want and I don't really like the whole 'looking' process. It's like shopping for clothes....some wander everywhere, trying on this and that and still don't make up their mind (my H). I go in, get what I want and get out-- I really dislike shopping! While it's true I was 'looking' for over a year (mostly over the internet, some driving around and a very few open houses), it's only very recently we got the mortgage lender and the Realtor involved. As soon as we did that, I went to only 4 houses. I really, really loved the second house we saw (which I know you're not 'supposed' to do, but...). I brought my H to see it the next day and by that evening, we placed our offer.

Sometime I'd really love it if you could explain how to put together a proper spread sheet.....I can see that simplifying so many aspects of my life!

We applied for pre-approval from our lending officer (the President of the branch of a national bank, as it were). We have turned in all the crap you have to turn in and a draft of our loan has been drawn up and is just waiting for our signature-- we have some time with that. So, my question is....can I still expect more hold-ups with underwriters at this point? It seems like all they need/want at this point is for us to sign the deal. But, I'm new to this and would appreciate any insight you may have. Thanks!


I couldn't agree more....but the patience part I'm getting stuck on!

Jim-- thanks for sharing your experiences too. I guess I really need to keep in mind that although I really love this house.....if the problems turn out to be too great, I need to walk. I'm really okay with that, although at this point with everyone (realtor, mortgage guy, inspector) having done so much......I feel like rationally I know I can walk away if need be, but I don't want them to have had to go through all that for naught. I suppose it's their job though, and these things happen. Hopefully, it won't come to that. But I'm not going to commit myself and my H to this kind of financial investment if it's not right. I just won't....even if that means letting others down. They don't have to pay the mortgage or do the repairs!

I agree that even if I do walk from this house (that I love, did I mention that?), there will always be another house that I could love too. It's good to keep that in perspective! I'm glad that you found a house that was good for you. Problems can be expected to happen even if there is no sign of them at closing......it's part of being a homeowner, right? I hope you find a permanent solution to your water issues!

There are always risks......I guess I'm more the type of person that likes to see or at least fathom the potential risks. But, I could drive myself crazy with the "what if's". Sometimes you just have to dive in, I suppose.

Just an update:

After quite a bit of back and forth with the Seller, it looks like the final deal is on the table. They are going to provide us with a new roof!! I'll know for certain in a couple of hours, but I really think they will take our proposal.

I'm so excited! Closing is on the 29th and the new roof will be installed by then. Keeping my finger's crossed!

Conga-rats!

Ditto what Ash said.

Thanks Ash and Skiotter. It really makes me feel good to know I have support here.

However........the Seller's consist of 4 children (adult) of the now incapacitated older owner. Two of the four want to take our offer....the other 2 don't. So, we're back with their offer and my H and I don't quite know what we want to do.

We're only talking here of a monetary difference of $1000.00 when all is said in done. They want to add to the existing price and still pay our closing and give us some money for incidentals. We want to increase the current price by half of what they want (or take it off the closing costs, whichever they prefer) and we forfeit the incidental money. It's not much money, but their way will add to our mortgage, our way will allow us to feel as if we are not getting shafted by the Seller. Either way the Seller buys us a new roof, just not the way we want. We're willing to pay the extra to get the roof we want.

This is an emotional roller-coaster! On the one hand, I feel like we're being stubborn about such a small sum of money (in the whole scheme of things). On the other hand.....their way makes me feel taken advantage of.

Will any of this matter 5 years from now if we decide to take their offer? Probably not. Do we really envision ourselves in this house, can we make it a home? Yes. Are we likely to have similar problems if we don't choose this house with the next one we fall for? Probably. It just doesn't feel fair........we're both allowing our emotions to dictate our decision here, because the financial aspect is so minimal. Is that a good thing to do? I think not. But it is the way it is. How can I separate the emotion?

So, we're sleeping on it. I'll let you guys know what we decide. If anyone has any suggestions on how to handle this/work it out, I'd love to hear it!

Again, thanks for listening. It seems like I'm getting hit from all sides lately.

Harmonium,

That is difficult and I can understand where you're coming from. However, in the past few years I've really learned that too often people let the little things (ego things) intervene with the more important aspects of life.

My suggestion....check yourself to see if it is your ego talking (getting hurt) or if you really think maybe this is just not the house for you. Of course, I have no idea. Only you know. But if your ego is getting injured by the behavior of some (possibly) grieving people then maybe you have to get control of your ego demands....does that make sense?

If you can envision your life in that house for the next 5 - 10 years....including raising your kids (should you have any) or whatever.....then what is a thousand dollars? If you are having doubts about the house....maybe this is another indication to you that it isn't for you. I think sleeping on it sounds like a great idea. But then the trick will be to wake up and acknowledge what you truly feel.....and then go with that. It's hard to do if the "reality" you encounter during the sleep ends up being something different than what you or your ego really want....

I'm so happy you are this close to getting what you want.....either way. I'll be waiting to hear what you decide.

Good night and sweet dreams.

I don't get why they'd want to increase the sell price of the house, even by $1k cuz they're going to have to pay realtor commission on it. Unless, for some goofy reason, it's part of an inheritance scheme or something, who knows.

If it were me, I'd say, "I'm willing to increase the sell price by 50%-of-what-you-suggested so if you want it to go the full 100%, kick in extra Incidental Cash to cover the commission we'll have to pay on that and you've got a deal." (Either that or "It's only $1k, whatever, let's just get this done & over with already.")

But if it were my husband, he'd say "Sod off!" or something similar. He can be a bit pig-headed sometimes, especially when it comes to real estate. He's always got one foot out the door. There's no such thing as the perfect home, in his estimation, so he's perfectly willing to walk away and find the next best thing.

Skiotter-- thanks again for another thoughtful reply! You really are great, you know that?

I don't think it's an ego thing for me. I think I'm trying to decide if I really want the house badly enough to pay the extra cash. It needs quite a bit of redecoration when we move in (was owned by an older person with no taste!), so that money has to factor in too.

Ash-- I laughed out loud:

This is pretty much the exact scenario we went back to them with, that they turned down. Now, it's take it or leave it their way.


My H feels the same way!

We're still thinking. Maybe we'll make them sweat a bit, we have until the 20th. I just don't know if it's 'worth' it to us-- too many factors at play here.

Anyway, thanks to you both!

Maybe a better house is waiting for you down the road.....
my opinion....ditch it. it sounds like a lot is getting in the way. might just be an indication of what is to come in the future if you do buy the house.

that was bold!

This is definitely a buyer's market. These sellers are doofuses (doofi?!) to be making demands at this point when it's pretty obvious you could walk on down the road to find another (possibly BETTER!) house for less money and hassle. "Der!" comes to mind.

So true, so true. Thanks for reminding me that they are the ones that need us, not really the other way around. There will always be another house, maybe even a better one. We haven't made up our minds completely yet.......but talking all this stuff out with you gals helps.

Well, we went back to the Seller with one last offer-- $10,000 less than the asking, but they didn't have to fix the roof or pay our closing. It was saving them time, effort and around $3000. Verbally, they agreed to the offer (except now they wanted an extra month to get their stuff out of the house, no way!)....then...

Apparently, they thought our offer was $9,500 less than the asking, rather than $10,000. We wouldn't budge on that (I would have, but my H said it was a matter of principal). Anyway, the Realtor offered to take that $500 out of her commission to make both sides happy-- we thought we had the house (though I felt guilty that the Realtor was doing that).

When the Seller found out that it was the Realtor making up the difference, he BLEW UP, screaming at his Realtor. Yadda, yadda, yadda. He said he was pulling out of the deal, amid much cussing.

What a jerk. I can't believe someone would go through so much back-and-forth, so much stress on both sides....and then act like a petulant teenager.

Well, good. I'm glad he pulled out. There is no way he is going to get a better deal than we offered and now he not only has to disclose the roof issue, he has to fix it. We get our earnest money back because his side was the one to pull out and it's even likely we can sell the inspection to the next buyer. So, HA.

I know, I a little mad because this has made our emotions just go up and down and up and down (stress is the Last thing good for lupus!).......but I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

We're out looking at new houses tomorrow!

Harmonium,

From an outsiders perspective....YEAH~!! It sounds like that house would have just been one battle after another.......I'm so glad the guy showed his true colors in time for you to get out unharmed (financially speaking...and investment wise)

Have fun searching and I hope you find a good house with nice energy all around and inside it. That includes the present owners and habitants.

I really believe that things happen as they are meant to. Have faith.......amidst the confusion and chaos...

Thanks Skiotter! I'm actually getting really excited about the new search. And, I'm glad those true colors were shown-- I don't need to or have to deal with that. It IS a buyer's market; we'll find something better!

Well, the Seller had a long talk with the owner of the real estate company. She explained to him that we really were 'giving' quite a bit on our side (he thought his side was the one 'giving' more-- not the case; we are meeting in the grey). She explained in detail how this offer would be good for both of us and how it's not that unusual for the Realtor's to kick in some of their commission to make both sides happy. He came back to us yesterday with our offer in writing. The only change was the date of the closing pushed back to June 22.

My Realtor say that the Seller has just lost his father, who owned the house. He's emotional about it. His sister lives a state away and hasn't had time to come and go through her father's things. I get that emotional aspect; I don't think he's a jerk anymore, just sad.

I went out yesterday and looked at 5 more houses. None of them compared to the one we wanted.....not for resale, inspection issues, location, size......really not one was better in any way! So, I took the offer to my H and showed him/told him about all the other houses I had seen.

We signed the deal! My Realtor tells me this has been one of the more difficult back-and-forths she has seen in 12 years of doing this. She has never had anyone act like this Seller. But, it boiled down to the house itself-- which is a great deal! And, the new closing date is good for us because we already have our APR locked in (low!) and now we have more time to pack, tell our landlord and get our finances together. It's win-win if you ask me.

So....after all of this.....

We are HOMEOWNERS!!

We are the proud new owners of our first home! The only thing that could stop this now is a death on one side or the other (knock on wood!). It's really perfect for us, I can't wait to get in and start the updates (mostly cosmetic). It's a 3 bed, two full bath in a great location. It's kind of contemporary, which we love. I'm bursting with happiness over all this. Even though we had many ups and downs.....this is going to be a great first home! Yay!