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I went out to lunch with a friend. He began to share things with me from his past, including things about his borderline mom(which I didn't know about until today). So...At that point, I decided to divulge my past. He wound up standing me up in the middle of our meal after announcing his red flag system was alive and kicking, and he needed to cut ties with me, in so many words.

I was very upset, naturally, and it was a rude thing to do. I have thought about this all day, I've thought about discretion, I've thought about when/if is ever a good time to share that information, I've thought about how badly I feel for him that his childhood stunk, that I could understand that it struck a nerve within him. I thought about lots of stuff. Then of course, my thoughts wandered to how I feel like a leper and all that other lovely shit.

And I have decided...That it's good for me, in a way, as odd as that sounds. For a good chunk of my life, I have been judged for what I am not. For the masks I have put on, for the facade, gaining acceptance through lies in order to avoid being alone. And now, I am just being me. Some people like it. Others don't. I am judged prematurely. On the other hand, I have been accepted fully, flaws and all. I've also fallen somewhere in the middle. For me. For myself. I am not a chameleon, I am me, this flawed, perfectly imperfect woman, and I think I grow to love her a little more everyday.

Wow, Raeni, I'm amazed at your self acceptance after what could have been viewed as a very disturbing interaction. He left in the middle of the meal?! Wow. Kudos to you, Raeni, for your self love.

Raeni, how awesome for you! The recognition and acceptance is wonderful! Additionally, the fact that you didn't take HIS issues with the mere concept of BPD personally. That's totally AWESOME!! (Though I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Maybe he'll pull his head out at some point. Just be cautious, if he does, that you don't end up trying to explain his mother's nuttiness to/for him - like at the NON boards.)

raeni:
I'm amazed at your self-acceptance! There's something I need to learn from that!
That some people can and will accept us just as we are, and some people can't. And we can't force everyone to accept the real us, right?

Am still struggling with this.