BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Well,

On holiday, but it's one of those trips where you're surrounded by family with no space and no peace and quiet.

I've been going out of my brain and sometimes my stress levels have been getting out of control.

I have been practicing my mindfulness techniques, meditating and - swimming underwater. Being away from the world above is really giving me some clarity and quiet.

Hope everyone is having a great Christmas break

It is very peaceful under water....are you in a pool or some larger body of water?

dagwood

I absolutely love swimming... That sounds like a really great way to cope.

Lack of privacy is a tough one. Living with my family, I know I get annoyed with being constantly monitored and judged by parents. If I leave my door open for some fresh air, someone is always bound to just walk in.

I'm in a pool, it's saltwater too so I don't feel covered in chemicals (chlorine) when I eventually get out.

I feel so light in there, like nothing can hurt me and all my anger dissipates so quickly.

I find my personal space to be so precious now. Before I started my therapy and DBT, I had no boundaries and needed all these people around. Now, I really respect my need for quiet and calm and the ability to just switch off. As part of my recovery, I try so hard to make sure I'm being just me and not mirroring someone else. I find if I'm constantly around people, it's really draining because I'm actively trying to be myself - it doesn't come naturally. It means I am always 'on' and can't ever just breathe. The only time I can switch off is when I'm underwater as there are 5 young girls (my stepdaughter and nieces) who demand my attention constantly. I love them all so much but it can get very tiring!

I've always heard the salt water pools are wonderful....whole different "feel" than regular ones.

Is there some place you can go to be alone for awhile...we all need that.

Yes! Completely different feeling. It's the closest you can get to swimming in the ocean here- you don't have to worry about sharks or crocodiles either!

At the moment, the only time alone I have is in the shower or when I'm underwater. We are leaving soon to go to exmouth and I feel terrible that I am craving some time out especially because I'm actually getting jealous of all the attention my partner is giving his daughter. I'm trying to be rational but it's very hard to feel so neglected. He tries his best to include me but she is understandably the apple of his eye.

In the meantime, ill just have to suck it up. I have spoken to him and he just cuddles me tight and tells me he loves me. We are in such a good place now and that really helps me get through the hard times, as well as practicing my DBT religiously!

Does anyone have any other ideas for getting some quiet time when you're surrounded by people? I'm going to go for another swim!