BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi everyone. Im a 34 yr old woman who was diagnosed with a handful of things. My most challenging problem is by far my bpd. I was diagnosed around 15 yrs ago. I have been to many therapists, taken all kinds of medicines, and even been hospitalized but still cant seem to get a hold of my illness. I think a lot of my problem is that mostly i have had no support. most ppl in my life have just thought i am acting out or that i dont care. i try to explain that i cant help how i see things and that i do what i can to get better but eventually everyone gets tired and walks out. i have been on my own since i was 16 and had many rocky relationships. i am currently in a new relationship with a good guy but i can see my bpd getting to him. my current situation doesnt allow for me to get therapy or medication so i thought maybe by reaching out and getting the support ive never had will help. at least im praying it does. im not sure what else to try...sometimes i wonder why i even try....then i realize why...i want to be loved and as i am i am unlovable. i want to have ppl in my life who care about me and who can stay in my life for more then a couple months or yrs. i want lasting loving relationships. anyways i hope that i will find friends and help here. thank you.

Hey there,

Almost all introduction posts here break my heart. I hope you stay strong, keep trying, and do not give up. Just keep doing the best that we can, that's the only way to go.

Hope to see you around

Thanks...Im trying but somedays I cant figure out why. Problems are getting worse with my bf and I know it will soon come to an end. On top of the depression for losing another person I care about I have the added stress that I have no where to go, no job, and no money. I am living in Juarez mexico, which right now is the most violent city in the world and I just dont know what I will do. Maybe Ill be able to hang in there I dont know.

Oh no. That sounds really tough to go through. What are your options? *Virtual hug*

Try to get yourself familiar with the tools on the left panel of the website. Different people have different ways to cope that work best for them. Getting to learn a tool, doing some homework, or getting new tips and going through trial and error for all of these can be very hard at first, but also rewarding in the long term.

Thank you. Actually I have read most of the tools but my situation right now is so stressing that I cant concentrate at all....I feel like I dont have any options or the ones I do have are close to impossible or bad decisions. For example...if my bf decides to kick me out tonight I will have to find a place to stay...I have a couple friends but none of their situations are great and I have no gas or money to get there. I need a job but in order to do that I need money to cross into the usa....for every decision I may take there are road blocks....mostly all resources are cut off from me since I have been living out of the country for close to 3 yrs and have no american address, no phone, and no job....to get help from us goverment agencies I must be a resident of the usa....which takes me back to needing money....im so frustrated and feel like giving up a lot lately.

Hey Dmorgan.

This sounds like a really difficult situation to be in, and my heart really goes out to you. I know it's hard, but try to take things one step at a time. Maybe you're jumping a little too far ahead and adding extra stress by worrying about being kicked out?

thank you mask...seems you gave me a little wisdom....i was indeed adding to things when stressing about being kicked out. while our problems are serious and have to be dealt with now he assured me that he continued to care about me and did not want to split up.

I'm glad to hear it. Keep us posted!