BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I was dx'd with BPD and Depression when I was 17 years old. I am 40 now! UGH! I have been hospitalized 4 times for anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I have been medication free and therapist free for over two years now. I thought I was in recovery BUT lately I can feel by my thoughts and actions that I am riding a slippery slope. To make a long story short... I am not suicidal or anxious but I am starting to have obsessive thoughts, feelings and even dreams about a straight coworker friend of mine. I know that I am asking for hurt and pain but riding the wave of deception and manipulation is what I excel at. I haven't done it or even wanted to do it for a very long time but I think that 2 years of boredom and numbness have taken a toll on me. I want some excitement in my life and I miss the thrill of "bringing someone over to my side."

I was a member of this site a very long time ago. I quit coming here because I became obsessed with ASH! When I realized that she was healthy and strong I gave up and set my sites on weaker prey. I come back now because I need help and do not want to hurt others or myself anymore. Please help me work through my thoughts and feelings. Thanx.

Welcome Kimmy.

How are you feeling now?

No preying SVP.

kimmy,

Welcome back. I remember you, although I doubt you would remember me, as I don't believe I posted in your threads. I was cosmo back then. Hope you stick around and find what you're looking for.

Dagwood