BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi all,

Thanks for the helpful site! I am a single parent of 3 children and currently living on welfare.

My symptoms began in my late teens I feel but were quickly 'hidden' for more than 20 years by living in a cult-like marriage to a dominant spiritual leader 15 yrs my senior and in a fringe alternative community.

I finally got the guts to leave 2 years ago but it has taken until now to become aware that I have issues that aren't going to be solved just by separation.

It's like there's this other person inside with their own agenda, a baby really who cries all the time and suffers major separation anxiety but still calls the shots.

I met a new man over a year ago who is not a narcissist and is supportive of me, kind and sweet. After entering the new relationship it was a shock to me to witness my own behaviour - my new relationship was really important to me so why was I feeling so crazy? I have already done some crazy things like becoming so angry I was driving recklessly and totally lost my cool. Both of those times I was getting mad about things I couldn't control (that I was trying to) and having to face possible or perceived abandonment. Daily I struggle with separation anxiety. Luckily I have some self-awareness of my behaviours but those angry times really scared me. Also, over the holidays I became so depressed and anxious I was almost suicidal. That really scared me too.

I think these things are coming out now because they actually can, before my life with that other guy was like being trapped in a cage with my husband as the only authority in my world and I was not free to be.

Since clueing in about a week ago that I share all Borderline traits I have started doing EFT every day, that is the only change I am 'making myself' do and recording the results.

OK hope y'all are safe, thanks, nice to be here.

A.

Hi selkirkdancer! I see you haven't posted since you joined. I hope you're doing well. I hope you come back and let us know what's going on with you.

Welcome selkirkdancer,

I didn't see your post before now or I would have welcomed you sooner.

Hope you can find some help here with the rest of us.

dagwood