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Me and my fiancee are getting married in civil ceremony in november and had orginally taken the decision not to invite my late mothers family due to some ill feeling around the time of my mothers death. I was still still greatly with BPD and we clashed and never really made up. I lost my contact with my stepdad next months after due to a massive row and hadnt talked for nearly two years. However when I was in recovery and met my partner i reestablished contact with my stepdad. He find it a lot easy now im not so erractic and angry. This was all fine and my Dad andthat he excepted was going but made it clear it did not want any of my Mums family there.

Last friday my mothers mum passed away. I have also been close to my nan and was really the only person apart from my mum bothered with her. My Mum's youngest sister is making life difficult and my aunty vicky (who i intially fell out with) has been defending me and has been saying how much she wants meet my fiancee. When I was in prison after having triedto take my life my aunty Vicky was a great support and wrote to me every week. I will be seeing her at the funeral on friday and part of me wants to inivte her to the wedding if for my mum as much as anything else.

Trouble is if I invite her my dad will go mental and may not even come. Im worried if I make the wrong decision I may end up being made ill with all the stress and relapse back to self harming fas my coping stratergy. What do nI do? Listen to my Dad and not build bridges with my family or follwo my gut and heart and extend the olive branch and an invite. Any input would be helpful as I feel my head is likely to explode.

i understand your feeling like your head will explode

and all the fun "family drama"

how are you doing now ?

How much emotional support do you have in your life? If you are seeing a therapist this would be an excellent thing to talk about. I would say that you can't live your life to please others. Your feelings and needs matter and they could be priority one if you decide to make them so.