BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hi, my name's Amy but everyone calls me Ed. Yes, I am a girl in spite of the name. I'm 21 and I live in California. My favorite color is purple and I'm afraid of bees.

I was first hospitalized at 11 years old when my math teacher caught me cutting myself, and from there I was given the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, which was later dropped because apparently they don't give that diagnosis to kids. They later knocked off the Bipolar and Schizoaffective and settled on what was left. I was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder, Major Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and PTSD before doctors finally knocked off the Schizoaffective and Bipolar, settling on what was left over.

Now I've just been released from my 6th psychiatric hospitalization with a fixed diagnosis of Borderline, Major Depression, and PTSD and some brand new meds. Lucky me

Borderline issues I have the most trouble with? Impulsiveness (sex, drugs and stealing shit) Lack of a sense of identity (makes it hard to relate to people) Unstable relationships (always heartbroken even when someone is doing everything I could hope for) and that weird empty feeling that I'm going nowhere.

Some more positive stuff about me that has nothing to do with BPD, I'm a psych major with 2 black cats named Poe and Spooky and I love them lots :3 I go to a lot of raves, I cook, I play music, and I do yoga. I'm generally a people person and I love anyone with the courage to be exactly who they are. I'm gonna stop now cause I've written way too much and no one is gonna read all this shit hahaha.

So yeah, hi

Hello Ed!!

My name is Nurul. I live in southeast asia. My favourite colour is green and I love cats. I love to eat broccoli soup and my ultimate 'physical' goal is to run a marathon. Your introduction post is so cute so I made my own too

You've gone through a lot. 11 years old? When I was 11, I had to see my parents fight a lot. I was insecure, pressured to do well because of the high expectation of the society I am in, I was well on my way to become the highly depressed person I was in high school. But cutting when you were 11. That must be rough.

Anyway I hope you find this forum helpful. Welcome and good luck!

Hello Nurul! Thank you for the warm welcome
I definitely have been through a lot but I am trying my best to move forward. Every little bit of encouragement helps!

Hello new kid. :P

Sounds like classic borderline problems to me. You should fit right in here! 11 was when my problems started to really show up, too. I didn't start cutting until 13, but 11 was when I made the realization that I wanted to die.

I really like the name Poe. My cat is named Trouble, but I have always had a penchant for naming pets after authors. If I had a black cat, I think I would go with Lovecraft.

How is being a psych major going for you? I found that in college, as a psych minor, those classes were the most interesting and sometimes the easiest, since I have half the disorders I was studying anyway. Haha. :P

So, what is it that brings you to the forums?

Mask

P.S. Nurul, green is my favorite color too. <3

I'm enjoying it so far, but sometimes I feel weird, like I'm a case study for abnormal psychology class. It helps me understand myself a little better though, which is much needed haha.

I came to the forum because I've developed terrible social anxiety out of nowhere and I suddenly have a lot of trouble talking to people about how I feel, even my one Borderline buddy who told me she always has an ear to lend. I take rejection reeeeeeeally really badly, and lately i take just about everything as rejection, even if i know I'm being paranoid or the person is just joking. I used to work as a counselor at a group home and I found that the residents wanted to talk to me more when they found out I was in their position once, so it's the same basic principle

hey there ed!
welcome onboard

i'm Angela, from the same country as nurul

i'm 29, diagnosed with borderline two years ago though i believe i had it since my early teens...

i never cut though but i have always had suicidal ideations since way back during my teen years...

i'm working as an english teacher..
i have a dog named ruthie... a stray dog (she was a puppy one year ago) who passed by my house and i kinda took her in


hope to see you around more often


love
angela

It makes me feel so sad for you guys that you had to deal BPD/etc as kids. I've never been a cutter. My elder sister probably started cutting right about when you guys started, too. I admire you, Mask, and Ed, for waking up day by day and being strong enough to go on even after dealing with this problem for so long. To compare, my childhood seemed relatively happy and free from personality disorders. I think you two are doing awesome, keep working on it!



Ohhhh. You didn't mention this when I talked about your english being good :P