BPDRecovery.com: Forums

For as long as I can remember I could never really pinpoint why I overeat. In support groups and books I'd hear people say because food is comfort or because it gives them some sort of control and sometimes when asked I would give these as reasons for what food does for me but it never quite felt right.

Well, I've been reading a lot about BPD lately and a light bulb went off inside my head. I eat to fill the emptiness, to try and literally fill it. And it works temporarily. I either feel so full or so sick after binging I don't notice the emptiness. But it's so temporary, I don't know why I keep doing it I'm obviously aware that there are consequences that make me depressed and unhappy (feeling sick, being unattractive and overweight, health issues, etc...)

I love the lightbulb moments!

eclectically, I understand what you're saying! I try to fill the empty-feelings with all sorts of things, including food, the more decadent and rich the food the better. Like you, I *know* that the behavior is causing self-harm but seem unable to discontinue the action. BDP and self harm seem to go hand in hand though, right? (I'm a total newbie to bdp) On a gut level I know that healing/getting acquainted with my inner kid has to come before I deem myself worthy of self care.