My wife of 13 years was recently diagnosed with Boderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar 1. We led a pretty normal life until May 2011 when my wife seemed to have become a completely different person.
My wife, has always been very shy, timid, socially introverted but friendly, loving, thoughtful, and dedicated to myself and our children. All of this seem to have changed in May 2012. My wife had reached a breaking point from stress due to her work, our children, and some marital issues we were having just prior to the change.
To get to the point, on January 1, 2012 my wife was acting a bit depressed and I asked her what was wrong. We got into a serious sit down where she admitted to me that since May 2012, she had affairs with 3 seperate men. One was an 18 year old boy who worked under her at a fas food place, the second was a crush from her sophmore year in high school, and the third was her boyfriend before me. NOW, I was the ONLY man my wife had EVER been intimate with since we were 17 years old! She was absolutely repulsed by the thought of other men, or other men even viewing her body, which I was the ONLY man to have ever seen!
During this time period of May until January, my wife began wearing provocative clothes having been conservative prior to, began to go out with friends from high school more and would consume alcohol, alienated away from all of our friends as a couple, spent more time focused on texting and Facebook and lying about who she was talking to. She was consuming alcohol while at work, was less affectionate wiith me and the kids. Her attention span was very short, her temper was short, she became more talkative and outgoing, she began ignoring our children and myself. She traded in our SUV to get a sports car because she said she was tired of looking like a mom. She became a smoker after always being greatly opposed all of her life, she got a tattoo, would take pictures of her self and send them to men from high school and the men she was having affairs with. She was spending more money and not telling me, taking out cash advances through our bank, etc...
After the affairs were brought to light, she told me she wanted a divorce so she could be with her boyfriend from high school. This all came as a shock as I was a super husband. We didn't lack in intimacy, we went on dates regularly, did family nights and went all across the United States, etc...Everyone commented that during this time period, they wished their husbands were more like me on how thoughtful, romantic, and caring I was. She had become lazy thus I was cleaning our home, doing the daily chores, and cooking as well as taking care of the kids!
So long story shirt, her "fantasy" idea about being with the ex boyfriend who lived about 600 miles away and was in the military didn't pan out to well as soon as she found out she was used and he was actually seeing someone already.
My wife was so interested in this guy that when she filed divorce against my wishes because I truly loved her, she knew I was going to contact the hopeful boyfriends superior officer. My wife said to me "Do you want full custody of the kids? I will give it to you if you will leave his career alone". My wife, a devoted and loving mother was actually giving up custody of her kids for this guy! WHO IS THIS WOMAN?
Fast forward...I fight with every ounce I have to keep my wife, but she is strongly dedicated to a divorce because as she put it, she just wanted to be free and go and come as she pleases!
A few weeks passes and her seeing me dating an old friend from high school is not settling well with her so she starts to talk to me about her and I dating. She is over at the house one day and is in the bedroom crying. I ask her, "what is wrong" and she says "I can't believe she used my body". Of course, I am naturally puzzled by her statement and have said all along that the woman she was was certainly not my wife...that everything she did was not what my wife of 13 years would do.
She explains she can't remember hardly anything of the last 8 months including events related to myself and our kids, the affairs, conversations, etc... She has contended this entire time that it wasn't her and even our friends said it wasn't her. She has now totally switched back to the person she was prior to May and is humiliated, ashamed, disgusted, hurt, and many other things in feeling as to the person she became. She is humiliated as to the men she was with as she would never have even taken a second look at these guys to date! Toay, she is conservative again, shy, and loving. She contends that she was not that person and has no memory as to what happened....as a Police Officer, I am very skilled at determining lies from the truth...she is not lying and I know my wife well enough to know that she was a complete different person! Even her handwriting has changed!!!
Today she takes Seroquel XR 150mg in the evening, and Prestiq 50mg durring the day. She was diagnosed with BPD and Bipolar and sees the therapist. Today, she is fighting to fix everything that "crazy" as she calls her did...
My question is that is this typical with BPD behavior, or is this related more to DID? We are both in therapy and she is struggling to make amends with everything. She hurts for herself because the person she became wasn't her an she said that she had no control over her nor can she remember anything she did. She doesn't even remember filing for divorce!!! Any advice or support is appreciated. This was the abbreviated version of the last 8 months....
BTW, she reports no history of child abuse, sexual abuse, etc... I can tell you that she grew up in a very abandoned home with no loving affection, no line of communication, no parental support. Her mother has also been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 as has our daughter.....Any advice or support appreciated!!! Thank you
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