BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Heyo.
I've had a lot of stuff going on out there in RL, and I haven't been able to get back to this and give it the time y'all deserved. I still don't have the time, really, but I wanted to drop in...

Oh, it's never all black and white. Some analysis, some research, some investigation can be very helpful. That gives me the information to move ahead as an informed consumer/patient/individual. Self-discovery and self-understanding are vital to observing my own behavior and choosing what I may or may not need to do next.

But I can get trapped in that research cycle. Trapped in wanting to know "about my condition" instead of "about myself". It's a great way for me to fool myself into thinking I'm working when I'm really just staying stuck. It's a defense mechanism (like Emerging said). A way for me to do anything BUT do the steps needed to manifest change.

I just catch myself doing this a lot, and I usually end up feeling more unstable the more I try to psychoanalyze myself. I see it around me in my AA group these days, as people try so hard to "understand" the 12 steps instead of just doing them. And yes, I see it here from time to time. I think everyone does it to some extent...I just have to remember that I can get caught up in that analysis loop very easily.

Rushing of without a direction, without some understanding can be a foolish and dangerous thing for me. But if I insist on "understanding" it all before I make a move, I may never leave the starting line.