BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hello everyone:

I hope this finds you well.

I'm having a really tough weekend so far, so I thought as a means of avoiding self-harm (which is VERY difficult at this point), I'd use some skills and distract in a healthy way.

Below is a BPD Declaration of Independence that I wrote for an assignment in the "Angry Heart" book by Dr. Joseph Santoro. I'm still working through the book, but this is an assignment I completed quite a while ago. The book is very helpful to me, and this was one of the more enjoyable assignments that brought me pride and peace. Hopefully it will be of some encouragement to others along this bumpy journey of living with BPD; we'll make it through, one way or another. Take care everyone.

--Indieflickfan

When striving to create one’s own healthy place in the world, it is vital to have the opportunity to realize and accept what that individual needs in order to function as a productive, content human being. Such a realization is more than difficult to obtain when trapped in a place that is emotionally stifling, and harmful to anyone in or around it. Such a place is the Borderline Zone.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all people are created equal, deserving of love and possessing the right to lead a lifestyle that is free from psychotraumatic events and experiences. The history of the Borderline Zone is one of many dysfunctional components, and this declaration of separation from this bond entails that an individual is free to engage in the following choices and attitudes:

To choose when and how to use their personal boundaries, against any member of any group in that individual’s life

To accept love from others and recognize its powerful, helpful attributes

To accept living in a place other than the Borderline Zone

To love oneself and embrace one’s diagnosis with BPD

To recognize and affirm the pain given by the dysfunctional place of the Borderline Zone and recognize its effects

To choose to live a life with purpose and fulfillment

To realize and accept one’s capabilities, talents and skills, as they are present in every individual

To take a step at a time when leaving the Borderline Zone

To accept each day of recovery, the good and the bad

To know that each individual is worth the change, regardless of the distraction of disbelief from others

We, therefore, the representatives of those living with BPD, solemnly publish and declare, that all BPD sufferers are free, that they are absolved from all allegiance to the Borderline Zone, and that as free and independent individuals possess the power to use resources and skills to reshape their lives, forgive themselves, use their boundaries, move towards healing and do all other things BPD sufferers may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of what rings true for us, we pledge to each other our support, our connection and our shared search for dignity, self-worth and love.

thanks for sharing this

borderline zone. Hmmm... A zone where it's chaotic. Full of pain. Confusion.

Leaving the borderline zone. Into a world where it's not chaotic. Not filled with intense and immense emotional pain. A more 'orderly' world where confusion doesn't reign.

Leaving the borderline zone step by step. One step at a time.

Congrats on being able to restrain from self-harm!

Kudos to us for being able to put so much into our own recoveries. We can make it!

I echo MM when she says congratulations and keep on keepin' on!

I want to point something out though that I think might help you.




Boundaries are not something we "use against people"...and maybe this was written in a way that doesn't really represent clearly your understanding, but IF this is your understanding, I thought I would say;

Boundaries are what we are born with as a natural and logical protection mechanism for survival. They are neutral. They protect us from assault.

Boundaries are what WE are willing to do/think/feel/ say, or not. They are the "fences" which describe our internal knowledge of our intrinsic human rights (not to be hit, called names, defined, used, enmeshed with, etc) and guide our self protection behaviors.

This is not to take away from the cool spirit of what you wrote here - just hoping to contribute something to add more useful, healthy reflection, in peace, as you offered here.

Does this help anyone?

I agree surreal.

Indieflickfan- This is a very empowering, positive declaration, and I really like it! The declaration this was drafted after was one that led the people involved into a war, they had to give everything they had to preserving the tenants they wrote about in their declaration of independance. But isn't that what is required of us, if we are to work our way out of the chaos? Not a war against other people, but a war against the wrong thoughts, the irrational emotions, the cage of BPD our true selves feel trapped within sometimes. But all the same, it oftentimes does feel like a war, and your declaration is a good battle cry.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'm glad to hear my post has been helpful.

Thanks Surreal for posting the clarification. I certainly don't argue that boundaries are to be used against people. I do feel it's to implement a boundary is to take a measure to take care of yourself. I guess I was just trying to articulate that sometimes people don't respect our boundaries, and that doesn't mean we have to give in just because others don't accept/respect what our boundaries are. That's been a big problem in my life with my family, and I can very easily fall into the mode of letting boundaries crumble because they don't accept them. I think your wording helps and is much more effective.

Thanks again everybody.

gotcha!

yeah...I have a whole worn trail from he stampedes across my boundaries....

fed up wid dat!