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Hi All.

My therapist has recently turned focus of EVERYTHING to mindfulness. I bought this great book that talks about calming anxiety through mindfulness. so now, my T has me read one chapter a week and teach him what the chapter is about!

it is helping but sometimes I get frustrated with my T because sometimes I just don't want to think about being mindful.

for example, yesterday we talked about love and compassion through mindfulness. like can i have love and compassion for D, my father, who traumatized me? my first thought was that i don't want D to experience good in life. make him suffer like I did! but that isn't kind, is it? no.

so I see my T's point of view. was just wondering if anyone else is actively working on mindfulness? it sounds easy but it really isn't.

I'm glad your T is working with you on this. I'm supposed to be doing Mindfulness all the time, but I don't. I guess I don't like to think about it at all. But when you do think about it, to me, anyway, being Mindful is like stopping and thinking before we act/speak. You know, the old "count to 10." Don't react right away. I have not worked on this specifically with my T, but I'm sure he'd like me to be aware of it most of the time.

Maybe being Mindful is also like staying focused. Not jump around to doing 10 things at a time. Staying in the moment. I've been really busy lately plus having some health issues, so I have not been Mindful. But I know that when I'm stressed or when I'm upset about something, being Mindful is the best thing I can do. Stop - breathe - think things through. It IS a chore, and one that I don't particularly like, but I guess it's the best thing for us in the long run.

Just do the best that you can. And I would discuss your frustration with your T. You can't be expected to be perfect at this - you're just starting out. So do as much as you can and give yourself a break. And discuss it with your T.

I really see where you are comming from. I began real mindfulness work about a year ago. It was really difficult at first, and still is in some situations where I just react from my gut. But now, doing it for so long, the gut reactions are leaning toward the healthier choice I would have made. So...progress. It really does get easier with practice. Now, almost everything I do is done mindfully--even grocery shopping. I'm pretty far from where I need to be, but these techniques really have helped me.

IMO...from what I have read and learned doing this in my everyday life (my job requires mindfulness for me to be effective) I believe that it simply means bringing attention to the physical sensations of an emotion, noticing but not dwelling in the 'stories' about it. (I am not referring to your or anyone else's particular situation here, just my general understanding of mindfulness) Only then, when our attention is on the physical response rather that dwelling on the emotional (that comes later) can we be fully present to and relate to what's arising. As this is done, one can notice sensations, like emotions, have a limited life span. They come and go, they change, they fluctuate--- but they no longer define (or confine) us into ideas about who we or others are. Stories linger much longer and entrench themselves much deeper. This means staying with the experience, whatever it is, without the need to interpret or interfere. From this perspective we can truly observe from a place where physical and emotional reactions don't pull us away from whatever is revealing it self, bringing awareness. The next step is to intentionally decide what course of action is best for you.

I learned with me that when I began feeling like I was overwhelmed with too many activities to schedule, I held that emotion in my upper shoulders and neck, kind of like I was 'feeling the weight of the world' on my shoulders. I learned that if I 'simply' brought my body into proper posture, took a good breath, and actively relaxed the shoulder girdle I not only lost that overwhelmed feeling but I did not get the subsequent migraine I was expecting. It really works!


Have you asked yourself why it is better/easier for you to not be mindful? Maybe your T is just jumping in a little fast. Do you practice mindfulness in other situations? Would it be different if T were not asking you to practice the same techniqe with someone you are on good terms with? What would that look like?

I'm happy to hear you T is using this techniqe. I encourage you to give it time. I really hope this post helps you. Just do what you can do. The rest will happen! Always discuss with you T, as BG pointed out too.

Thanks. I just think that we jumped in a little fast but that's ok. the book I am reading says that mindfulness is a non judging, kind, openhearted awareness in the present moment".

its really hard for me to be in the present moment because my i am so in my head but I learned that the past is a memory of a present moment and the future is something we are imagining or planning in the present moment. imagine that!

but I am learning how and why anxiety, panic attacks, and worry are helped by mindfulness. at first i didn't want to 'teach' my therapist anything. I was embarrassed cause i have a learning disorder and figured he knows all this stuff. but he wants me to be committed to therapy and this would be a way to get me involved and committed if i have to teach him a chapter a week! LOL...he's a smart guy! it worked LOL. I was practicing and reading and learning an awful lot LOL!

13 chapters to go :O)

I like that! I will spend some time thinking about this one.

I've also had trouble thinking that the T must know everything and I don't. I think it's good and helpful your T is involving you in such a way.

Keep up the good work!