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I just want to lie all the time , within the last hour i wanted to tell someone my dad has cancer so they would feel sorry for me , i really cant be asked with all these negative feelings in side my head anymore.

I wanna say something extreme to someone so i can get pity.

I know it's been a while since you posted it and may be in a completely different place...

Just wanted to say that it sounds like you need someone to acknowledge how bad you are feeling...saying something extreme is not the only way of getting what you need, even if it may seem like the only option at times... is there anyone you trust that you can be open with? Or maybe give yourself some of that compassion that you wish other would give you...

All the best

pillz,
Have you examined why you want to get people's pity? Understanding our past and how it affected us gives us valuable insights into our own behaviour.

Now that you've recognized what you're doing, do you think it's time to STOP and start taking more constructive actions to address the UNDERLYING ISSUES beneath the surface behaviour (lying to get pity)?