BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I had something quite long written, but then realized shorter is sweeter for intros..

I'm 23, an art student, and I think I have BPD.

I've been depressed for as long I can remember. Can't recall any real happiness, at least to measure up to the happiness of my peers. I seem to match a lot of the signs of BPD. I'm extremely afraid of being abandoned, or alone in general; I have no real identity; frequent and troublesome mood swings, feelings of emptiness; recurring suicidal thoughts.. the list goes on. I basically have no real direction in life.. I'm set to get a two year degree, and have a 'path' as far as my future.. so there's direction in that sense. But I completely lack passion and motivation. It's an everyday struggle. I cannot form friendships for the life of me.

The one bright spot is a budding relationship with a wonderful, amazing man that understands me in many ways. We adore each other and almost are each other's 'saving graces'. We had each given up hope there was someone out there for us.. we're both introverts, loners, and artists. It still amazes me how alike we are - and that he actually feels so strongly for me. I fear losing him, despite his reassurances. I feel incredibly lucky to have him. I want to get better, not only for my sake, but to make my life with him as good and fulfilling as it possibly can be

Hi artkid88 and welcome!

Regardless of what your dx turns out to be, if you can relate to bpd, you found the right place! I'm glad you have met someone you click with. I know when I met my husband 10 years ago, I didn't think he'd stick around this long. And you know what? He wouldn't have if I hadn't worked my ass off to make me better. Not only for him and our relationship, but for me!

Again welcome! And I hope you find the tools and support you're looking for.