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I dropped my daughter off at college last Thursday. It is about 6 hours away. Not too close, but drivable. She is really happy there for many reasons and I'm happy for her. It hit me hard on the way home. From what I've heard, parents all go through that. I never cried so hard before. So much of my life was about her. I feel I've lost my best friend, my reason for being. (my son is another reason for living....there is just a difference). I had been ready to end my life and when I got pregnant, everything changed and after she was born, she truly was my reason to keep going and I was immediately in love with her. She is a happy, funny, super intelligent and creative person.

I'm trying to distract myself, clean up things, think about what is next for me, etc. I feel sad and empty and I cry all the time. Although I know in my head she needed to go and do this and grow up, in my heart I feel "left." You just don't think about your baby growing up and moving away and so quickly too.

I've revisited wondering if my life is worth it, the struggle and pain and now having "lost" the person I loved so much. It feels like a death of sorts.

I am not quite there yet but I am getting close to that point with my seventeen-year-old daughter, whose middle name is Tomorrow since she was my reason for living when I had her and remains so to this day. I am looking forward to having an adult relationship with her, though, so I won't mind the separation as long as we can still be close in other ways. All we can do is raise them the best we can and then hope we adequately prepared them for adult life.

(((C2L))),

I understand! As you know, my daughter just got married and it is hitting me hard too. Although she will live nearby, she is bonding to her new husband and moving away from my H and me. That's the way it should be. We want our kids to be independent, and not have issues like we have. But I know it hurts.

I think we both have to realize that we are not "losing" our daughters. Yours will come home for vacations and you will visit her at school. She will always be your daughter, no matter how old she is, and where she is. My daughter will always be my daughter, married or not.

I know you will be all right, but it's okay to grieve. I remember listening to a radio program in which mothers called in to say how much they cried when they sent their children off to college. When I went to college, my mother called once a week, and we wrote letters in between. Nowadays, with cell phones and email, you can keep in touch every day! It will get easier as time goes on. Knowing she is happy and that you've raised an independent daughter--doesn't that make you proud?

Thanks for the replies. I'm doing better now. Time has passed. It comes and goes--the sadness. Life is very different now.

Thanks for the replies Denim and Wondering.

I'm glad you're doing a little better. There will be times when you willl miss her incredibly, and times when you will be okay. Do you have any specific visits planned, like for sports activities? Is your daughter going to continue her sport at college? Maybe it will help to know when you are going to visit, or when she is coming home for her first quarter or semester break.

((Michelle))...

Daughters never stop needing their mothers. I think it's perfectly natural to grieve at this change, but just think of all the new stuff that still lies ahead, ya know? :-) [Don't make me skip ahead to Grandma-time :-D]!!

As ever,

J.

Thanks you guys. I do have plans to visit in about a month and she is continuing in her sport....I feel okay, but still miss her, it is just not as intense.

[Don't make me skip ahead to Grandma-time :-D]!!

Hahaha, thanks I needed that. That was funny!