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Resisting ... resisting the urge, the desire to hear his voice. There is no point .... only in my emotional mind do I want to contact him ....fingers itching, and only my alcohol-soaked mind knows the difference ... bad idea ... nothing but heartache and pain ..nothing but devestation. I am stronger than that. I stand firm in the emotional committment to myself ... I stand firm in the emotional committment to myself.
On one hand: What a pathetic loser I am. What a failure and a disappointment. Don't I know I deserve better? I do know, and yet I'm still just a pathetic dumbass.
That's old me. That's old world. Who do I choose to be ?
I choose to be my potential. I choose to feel happiness. I choose love, light and kindness. I choose new world. I own my life. And, I am courage in action. And, I am worthy of fulfilling my dreams.
And so I choose....
Just babbling ... thanks for listening, as always
_________________ "I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."
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