BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Hey all ,

Diagnose: Borderline personality disorder

Basically ive been in group therapy for around 6 to 7 months , and ive started to notice major changes in myself , changes i thought would never be applied to my natural train of thought , and he has me wondering , am i getting better? Im going to list out what i was like prior to therapy and whats changed and then if you want , please give me your own personal opinion.

Past//
1:I used to drink every weekend to the point where it was abuse
2:bought's extreme anger
3:Self harm
4: Never leaving my home , even for basic stuff
5: I never used to weight out the positives , it was all negative

Present//
1:I barely drink now , even if my anxiety/emotions have been toyed with
2:Anger is still a part of my life and im still prone to getting angry , but i seem to have it more controlled to the extent where i don't blow up.
3: Ive completely stopped self harm
4: Being able to be around crowds now for about a hour to 2 hours on my own , without having a panic attack
5: Now i look at the positives even if its super hard to find , i will always find one positive thing from a bad situation.

Things i still need to work on:

1:Paranoid about the people around me , what there thinking , and what there plotting
2:My weight
3:Being dependable on my girlfriend
4:My temper still needs some tweaking , i can still blow a fuse , and im still learning how to let it out healthy
5: Im still worried about letting someone into my life who im close to , threw fear of being hurt or abandoned.
6: Just learn to let things go
7: Just gotta pull my socks up and get on with it!


I mean look what ive accomplished in 7 months! Just imagine what i could do within year.

Pillz

Those changes sound WONDERFUL. Thanks for sharing your progess, it is inspiring to me! I dont know if im at a point far enough along to evaluate the meaning of your changes. Perhaps no one can say for sure. Seems like we hear over and over on bpdr that recovery is up to us. Perhaps an oldtimer though, might be able to comment better regarding the milestones you've hit.

I heard A.J. Mahari (recovered bpd) once say that learning to self soothe is a major milestone in recovery. I'm kind of curious - only if you felt like sharing - to hear how that aspect of things is going for you. I'd love to hear from others too, about if and when they began being able to self soothe. Maybe I should start a thread on that, so I don't hijack your thread here.

I really liked your #5 and how you've shifted to seeing things more positively. It's inspiring me to write out some positives on myself, think i'll do that : )...

Hey, congratulations on your improvements!!!!!! Yay yay yay for you!

Liz

Hey Pillz, good work! You've accomplished a lot in a few short months.

I do believe that recovery is possible, as long as it's understood that anybody is still a human being, and therefore liable for mistakes, mood changes, and occasional twisted thinking and/or behavior. No one is ever going to be perfect, even the person who seems to be the healthiest person on the planet. That doesn't matter as long as you've developed the ability to recognize when you're going off track, and you can respond to your unhealthiness rather than just react.

Being recovered doesn't mean that you're never going to get angry again, or even that you're not going to act out ever again. People get angry all the time,and sometimes they act out, and some of that is totally justified and some not.

To me, recovery is being able to monitor your moods, such as anger, and do a reality check -- is there a legitimate reason for my anger, or sadness, etc.? -- and then devise, though the Five Steps or whatever, an appropriate, rational response. And if you happen to "lose it," you recognize it quickly, you stop and re-orient, you make amends for any bad or hurtful behavior, and you add that whole experience to your internal data base of how to handle different situations.

At any rate, good for you. Keep up the good work.

Pillz,
Wow! Congratulations!

And happy working toward even MORE recovery!

I think that you have made a lot of improvements and it is important for you to be acknowledged as well as giving yourself a pat on the back. Progress sometimes seems painstakingly slow. On the other side of some of the most intense pain I have ever had have been major breakthroughs. Keep up the good work!

Pillz,

I think you're doing amazingly well - congratulations! Keep up the good work Your post has inspired me a lot to keep trying.