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I don't want to alarm anyone but I have been having almost non-stop suicidal ideations for a week or so. This is very new to me. I've had some passive suicidal ideations on & off for most of my life, but never really worried to much about it. This is very disturbing because feel like I don't have control of it.

First let me say that I have already made up my mind that I will not act on these ideations because I have three children that I could just never do that to. But even though I have already made up my mind not to kill myself, I keep having these thoughts over and over again. I just keep daydreaming about how I would do it and working out all the details in my head. I even find myself wishing my husband & kids hated me so I could just do it and not feel bad about it.

Do other people feel this way? Is it really something to worry about if I have no intentions of doing it? I have felt so down the past few days and today I have been dissociating a lot.

Before someone tells me to call my therapist I am between therapist and am seeing a new one on Wednesday.

hey hugs to you
Do you think you could try to PAUSE those suicidal thoughts?
I struggle with suicidal ideations too, it comes from time to time.
could it be that because you have felt down lately, hence the suicidal ideation? could you try to identify your moods recently, and what caused you to have those moods? Sometimes these suicidal thoughts come when we are particularly feeling low.
Should you be worried? I don't know. But keep up that will of yours, the will to not act on those thoughts.

did you tell the new therapist about it?

Any good feedback?

How you doin' today?

No I haven't talked to my therapist. I am kind of in between therapist. I have a first appointment with the new one tomorrow morning. I will be sure to bring it up.

However . . . I have been doing a natural medicine regimine with Gaba and SamE, but I went to my homeopath and told her how I'd been feeling & she replaced the Gaba with L-Tyrosine & now I feel pretty good. Suicidal thoughts just kind of disapeared and so did all the negative self talk (which I've been having almost non stop also). So hopefully that was all I needed.

Thanks for checking back with me.

Sorry, I thought I was asking you AFTER you went. i didn;t understand the dates right.

Let us know how it goes.

Cool tip on the natropathic stuff..glad it helped you ;-)

Visit with new therapist went really well. She works at the same clinic that did my psychiatric eval last October which made it really easy, because I didn't really need to explain to her why I was coming in, she already knew. So we jumped right into talking about a plan of care & goals I would like to work on. I got a really good feeling about her & the way she seemed very organized which is important for me because I lose focus easily.

Suicidal thoughts are still gone, thank god. That was really awful. Feeling a little teary & clingy. I think I am driving my husband nuts with the amount of hugs I have been needing. But he's a good sport.

The therapist was rather concerned about the suicidal thoughts because I did have a detailed plan and a means to carry it out. We spent some time talking about ways to cope with the ideations should they come back & she said I can call her anytime. Right now feeling very positve about my recovery. Thanks for listening.

yay!

GREAT NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for posting it and letting us know how it went!!!!

I hope things are progressing to better and better everyday!!!

Surreal