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So I was retrenched (for purely financial reasons) almost 2 months ago. It took me 3 weeks to get a new job, which considering the economy and my past experience is pretty good. However I fond my boss intolerable for me. I won't go on about that - but it was really tough. So I decided to bite the bullet and resign before we got too close to Christmas and before the looming recession gets any worse.

I feel ok about my decision. This guy was too much for me. I've been validated by hearing other opinions and experiences of people who've worked for him. As my T said - this job didn't work out bc of other people's stuff, not mine. That's good to hear.

So why am I posting? Well, because I'm really scared about my future now. It's September and there really aren't that many jobs available. By November the job market will have all but shut down. That's how it works here (remembering that Christmas in the Southern Hemisphere coincides with our Summer break). I'm frightened - like really frightened. I have about enough money to survive for another 3 weeks then I'm skint. I'm concerned about the spin my old boss will give to my recruitment agents about why it didn't work out for me. I shouldn't be worried about that really, but you know about those old ghosts in your head telling you "This is all YOUR fault!".

So what do I want from you BPDRers out there? Oh dang, some support and encouragement would be WONDERFUL!

(((Sarah)))

check into what you all have down there like food stamps, food banks,,etc. i have no idea about your country. support stuff.

im sorry he? she? was such a asshole. i had a boss like that. couldnt pay me enough to take his shit. or his rudeness.

best to ya, Sarah!!! i know it is very frightening when things are uncertain. carry the tools with ya!

Summer break? Is this a school job? If not, what's a summer break?

Good luck finding a new job. Too bad that one didn't work out.

Sarah--

I know it can be hard to do the right thing, but to me that is exactly what it sounds like you did! You stood up for your self. Yea!!! Good for you, don't beat your self up over a good decision, IMO.

It is my understanding that in Austrailia (where I think your from) people still celebrate Christmas, right? Like, buying presents and such? Won't stores need extra help during this time? I know it might just be temporary and may not be your dream job, but it will be income. Just an idea, I really don't know how it works there. Another thought, if it is summer break, won't there be tourists? Are there not jobs available to cater to them? Again, not your dream job, but maybe something to pay the bills until you find something more to your liking. There is always something....sometimes it can just be hard to see the forest for the trees (at least for me!).

My real suggestion to you would be to turn your fear into motivation. For me, fear can do one of two things. I can stagnate and bemoan, or I can face it and act. I hope that you can act. Get pissed (in a positive way, this wasn't your fault) and go out there and show up your former A-hole boss by getting a new, better job before he can put on his pants. Laugh all the way to the bank! Show him what he could have had if only he were a better person.

Best of luck to you. I think you can feel good about this decision. You will find something better in no time!

Hey girl. Sorry that job situation turned out to have a bad boss. It sounds like it was good for your mental health to get out.

I like Harmonium's suggestion of getting a seasonal job, something to get you past the new year. Then perhaps you'll be able to get something in your field again.

jim

Not a school job - I'm a graphic designer. What I meant is that you guys in the Northern Hemisphere tend to have your annual holidays in Summer, which is in the middle of the year, but our Summer is over Christmas. Because there are two big reasons to holiday, people take their annual leave and lots of businesses close down for a couple of weeks. Generally the job market for corporate type jobs, office jobs like mine, is pretty poor at this time of year. It begins to wind down in November and it picks up again around the beginning of February. So if I want a full time job it's best to get one now while there are still jobs available.

Harmonium yeah we do still celebrate Christmas here (good excuse for a few days off work! )

I've thought that if I can't find anything in my field I can always get a waitressing job in a local cafe. However I feel this would be a big step down. It's not really a pride issue - it just seems so far from what I've been trying to do.

I've really been trying to focus on my career these last two years, and get it back on track. A year ago I got a full-time graphics job after looking for a year. I knew it would take me some time to get back on track and it did. After being retrenched I was so elated that it only took me 3 weeks to find another job, and a great job at that! Except it was working with a difficult man who, bc he's difficult, I suspect has a pretty hard time finding employees himself. It concerns me that what I initially took as a real boost to my self-esteem, was a position with someone no-one wants to work with. Perhaps this mislead me to believe my prospects were better than they really are.

Ok, underlying all of my concern is my work history and the fact that my latest experience, of resigning yesterday, is consistent with a pattern of not getting along with people in my workplace. It doesn't always result in me leaving, but the problems still remain. Each job, in reverse chronological order, has involved:

- yesterday - not being able to tolerate an irritating, foolish boss
- my previous job where I had serious trouble with a moody, volatile manager (female)
- my previous job where I had an often volatile relationship with my boss (male) and didn't get along at all well with my manager
- my previous job where my 2 design colleagues, who I had equal managerial status with, ostracised me from the company
- the previous position where I left because I couldn't stand my boss
- the previous job where my relationship with my boss became unworkable and I left

They are all of the full-time, permanent positions I've held in my career. The pattern doesn't look very good does it? It's very strong - I don't get along with authority.

I know I'm good at what I do. I think I could possibly do it without a creative director, and seeing as creative directors have authority over me, maybe I can't actually do it with a creative director at all. The boss from the job I just quit, he was the kind of guy who I thought "Ah - no-one can stand working with you so you had to start a business of your own" - and I'm wondering if perhaps I'm a bit the same.

I'd really like to be the kind of flexible personality who can work with anyone, but I'm not like that. Each position has had it's toxic elements which were external to me, but at the very least the pattern shows my tolerance is lower than most. It seems that the fact that I have trouble with difficult people makes me a difficult person to work with.

And to be honest I think I do thrive when I'm the person holding the reigns. I'm very organised and in a position of authority I give people responsibility and autonomy, which I believe brings out the best in people. I actually think I'm quite a good boss. Not one who suffocates people or falls into power dynamics.

But I'm terrified of the idea of starting my own business. The arrows keep turning towards doing just that. A friend of mine, who is very talented in the public relations capacity (an area where, with my relationship issues, is relatively weak for me) has offered to go into business with me. This is an opportunity I've waited a long time for - someone who has his skills becoming available for me to start a business with. But I'm too scared to make a move. The risks are not risks I'm used to taking. I tend to stay safe in life, which i think limits adventure and opportunity. My life is so static. I really feel I've taken so few risks, allowed myself such little adventure and opportunity to expand my horizons, and even to fulfill my potential. This is so true - I limit my own potential.

At work I ALWAYS feel stifled. Constantly the pattern is I feel someone is limiting me, and that person can only be someone with authority over me, otherwise I could ignore them. It's got to the point where I'm so aware that I'm carrying this heap of baggage about it. I'm extra-sensitive to it, making me less and less tolerant whilst I've been beating myself up in trying to improve my tolerance!




There seems to be quite a lot more in this than I thought.

We don't have a summer break here (US). Businesses don't close down. People take individual vacations, and summer is popular because of weather and, especially, kids out of school, but there's not a time when businesses shut down. That's why I didn't get the "summer break" thing. Thanks for the reply. I think I get it now.

I am looking at finding a reliable income source as well and I would love to be able to be self-employed rather than to have to report to a regular job and deal with people I would not choose to work with (it is not as bad when you do the hiring). I just got a used book today to help me look into ideas about how to establish my own business. I have started a book business but I have not been keeping up with listing inventory so that has slowed down and never was a predictable source of income anyway. I am needing to put more into that in order to get more out of it and at the same time I need a guaranteed paycheck in order to keep our home.

I tend to believe that bad things happen for good reasons so I wonder if now might be the time for you to take some risk when you haven't got many other options. It really could be everything you wanted in life and were too afraid to go after when you had the security of staying where you were. Taking calculated risks can be a good thing.

Starting a business because you have decided working for others doesn't work is usually not the best reason for starting a business. I'd rather see you start a business primarily because you have an excellent business plan that meets a need in a marketplace. This doesn't mean that avoiding having a direct boss would not be a great side benefit, however!

But given that you like to live at lower risk, what are the chances you can deal with your authority issues? FWIW, I didn't throw up my hands and become a full-time at-home book editor years ago because I like the steady paycheck and the stability that brings, so I get you on that.

jim

((Sarah)): Taking off from what Jim said - maybe you could take another, perhaps less than ideal, job while you actively create a business plan, etc..

The formality of creating a business plan, figuring out all the legal aspects of a business start-up, etc., is one way to find out if you really want to go that route or not, and will also be a way of seeing how much your potential business partner wants to do it as well as how well you will work with each other.

Some people are inherently entrapenurial (sp?) and some people aren't. Other times one doesn't really know until they try, or at least knows that they would regret it if they didn't give it a shot.

I can't really tell where you are on that continuum, but please know that we believe in you and support you in whatever you choose!

Most fondly,

Candle

Sarah, let me begin by apologizing. I didn't mean to offend you with the word still. I just know that Christmas has to be different in Australia because of the weather. Bad choice of words on my part. I was just trying to suggest a seasonal job to give you some time to form a plan.

I am similiar to you in that I also like working for myself. I took the plunge last year and formed my own company. A small company, I have an S-Corp. I also work as an independent contractor at times. It requires a lot of hard work and some knowledge of buisness planning. I don't know what your qualifications are in that area, but beware of the many pitfalls. I highly recommend you really think hard about going into buisness with a friend. I have personally witnessed many friendships fall apart after the two decided to form a buisness relationship. It can be hard to seperate personal feelings in dual-relationships. In deciding whether or not to do this, I would suggest that you REALLY look at your personal strenghts and (mainly) weaknesses in buisness. You will be ultimately responsible for everything, down to the toliet paper needed for the office. Knowing your weaknesses can really help you prevent disaster and help you know where to delegate responsibility. It can also be very rewarding, knowing that all your hard work is YOU.

I really wish you well. If you feel that you are holding you back, my suggestion would be to face the fear and go for it. Just go for it with a plan.